


I Love You More Than You Think I Do

by hannahmhall



Category: Take That
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - X Factor, Angst, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn, X Factor!AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-01
Updated: 2014-10-01
Packaged: 2018-02-19 12:10:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2387825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannahmhall/pseuds/hannahmhall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first thing Gary thinks when Robbie walks into the audition room that late May day is, how much he'd like to trace all of those tattoos with his tongue. The second thing he thinks is, he hopes to God he can actually sing, because they've been in this room for three bloody hours and have yet to put a single person through.</p>
<p>***THIS IS ON HIATUS UNTIL SUMMER***</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Love You More Than You Think I Do

**Author's Note:**

> so basically this au was born from too little sleep and too many youtube videos. i wanted to post the first chapter to see if anyone would even be interested in reading it (so please leave comments/kudos if you would want to read more.) in this story Take That never existed, gary is the international popstar, and so far i don't really have the other boys playing a role in the fic (besides mentions of mark in the past) dawn and ayda don't exist, and there will be angst eventually. also, this is unbetaed so i apologize for any mistakes, hope you enjoy it!

When Gary was six, he kissed his best friend, Mark Owen, in a treehouse in his backyard. He hadn't meant anything by it at the time, he was simply curious. That had always been Gary's fatal flaw though, he supposes, he was too damn curious. So when Mark ran home after that happened and told his parents, which led to Mark's parents calling Gary's parents and telling them they didn't think their sons should have playdates anymore. Instead of just letting it be, and moving on, Gary had to ask why _. Why_ couldn't he see Mark anymore _? Why_ couldn't he kiss boys? His dad told him boys simply shouldn't kiss other boys, that's what girls are for. For years he did kiss only girls. He kissed girls on the playground and in his treehouse, and when he got a bit older he kissed girls in his bedroom, but he never _felt_ anything.

 

The second time Gary kissed a boy was when he was sixteen. This time he kept it to himself. In the dead of winter pressed up against the side of the school building, a stray brick digging uncomfortably into his shoulder, he doesn't kiss his best friend. This time he kisses the boy who everyone was warned to stay away from, the boy with tattoos inked across his skin and a cigarette constantly dangling from his lips. He kissed this boy not because he particularly liked him, but because he was curious if he would feel anything, and when he did feel something he was relieved.

 

If you asked Gary why he took an interest in Robbie Williams the day he came strolling into the audition room and threw his whole universe off balance, with a cheeky wink and a few offhand comments, he would probably tell you it was because he was curious. Just like when he kissed Mark in the tree house, he simply couldn't help it, he just had to know. He had always been too curious for his own good, so when Robbie strolls in with his cheeky smiles and tattoos, really, what's a man to do?

 

The first thing Gary thinks when Robbie walks into the audition room that late May day is how much he'd like to trace all of those tattoos with his tongue. The second thing he thinks is he hopes to God he can actually sing, because they've been in this room for three bloody hours and have yet to put a single person through _._ Gary doesn't realize how long he's been staring at the man standing in front of him until Kelly throws an elbow in his side which causes him to clear his throat awkwardly and begin talking, "Hello, what's your name?"

 

"Robbie Williams."

 

Gary realizes he quite likes that name, but it could have less to do with the actual name, and more to do with the man it belongs to.

 

"And may I ask how old you are, Robbie?"

 

"I'm 37." Gary starts to smile, before schooling his features back into a mask of indifference. He looks back up and meets Robbie's eyes before asking, "So, what brings you down today?"   

 

"Money." He deadpans, "No, I'm joking," He laughs, "I've been singing and writing songs most of my life and I feel like this is kind of my last chance to do something with that, you know?"

 

"Alright, and what are you going to be singing for us?"

 

"I was going to do _Patience,_ if that's alright?" Robbie looks unsure for the first time since he's entered the room, and Gary doesn't like it.

 

"Go for it." Gary says, slightly nervous for him.

 

As soon as Robbie opens his mouth and begins singing Gary can't even remember why he was nervous in the first place. His mouth drops open, as he watches the man in front of him lose himself in the music, and he finds himself wanting to know everything thing there is to know about Robbie Williams. He stops that train of thought before it begins, and focuses back on the task at hand. Robbie finishes singing and without a second thought Gary gets to his feet and starts clapping, thankfully the other judges were just as impressed with Robbie's audition and followed suit. After a few seconds Gary returns to his seat and tries to think of what to say, "I honestly don't know what to say, you've left me speechless." Robbie smiles and rubs a hand over his face and Gary thinks that might be one of the cutest things he's ever seen, "That was a brilliant audition, and you sung that song better than it’s ever been sung.” Robbie has a look of disbelief on his face, and Gary gives him, what he hopes, is a reassuring look.

 

Instead of paying attention to the other judges’ comments, Gary finds himself distracted by the tattoos running up Robbie’s arms. He wonders which of them have meaning, and which ones were gotten on a drunken whim. He watches how his muscles shift beneath his T-Shirt with every move he makes, and he watches him nervously wring his hands together as he listens to all of the judges’ critique. Gary comes back to reality just as Louis has finished his critique, and is able to pull himself together and speak, "Robbie, we're going to vote now. Kelly?"

 

"Absolutely, yes." Robbie grins from ear to ear.

 

"Tulisa?"

 

"I want to see more of you it's a yes."

 

"Louis?"

 

"Massive yes!" Robbie looks like he might cry.

 

"Robbie? You've got four yeses."

 

“Yes!” Robbie’s eyes shine with unshed tears and he heads towards the judges' panel. Gary's heart is beating hard against his chest by the time Robbie reaches him. He doesn't know what persuades him to do it, but when Robbie grasps his hand Gary pulls him into an embrace, and whispers in his ear, "That was bloody brilliant." He can feel Robbie smiling against his cheek and releases him.

 

"Congratulations, mate." He calls after Robbie's retreating figure.

 

Robbie turns around and winks at him, "Thanks." He says back, before heading out the door. Gary feels his face flush and takes a drink of water, hoping to hide that fact. He can feel Kelly's eyes burning a hole in the side of his face, so finally he turns to face her.

 

"What was that?" She prompts.

 

"What was what?" He asks, feigning innocence.

 

"You know full well what. I know what flirting looks like, and you my friend were flirting." Kelly pushes.

 

"You're being ridiculous, besides for all we know he has a girlfriend." Gary argues.

 

"Oh please!" Kelly protests, "With the way he was looking at you? There's no way he has a girlfriend."

"Just leave it." Gary pleads with her.

 

"Alright, fine. No need to get all testy." Gary smiles a little at that, but he can't help feeling like he's back in that treehouse again, poking at things that should just be left alone.

 

* * *

 

 

When Rob was younger he used to put on his nicest suit and hat and perform concerts for his parents in the living room. They would cheer and clap, and tell him how talented he was, but they never seemed satisfied. Every time someone asked him what he wanted to do with his life and he answered 'be a popstar’ he saw their eyes dim with disappointment. Disappointment that grew a little bit with each year that went by. At 17, after years of performing in whatever venue he could book that night, he packed his bags, said farewell to the hellhole that was Stoke-On-Trent, and headed to London to try and prove everyone wrong.

 

He still remembers how heartbroken his mother had been that day, how each time he tried to pull back from her embrace she tightened her grip a little bit more. Until, finally his father pulled her away, muttering something about how Rob had made his decision and there was nothing they could do now except let him go. Rob lost a little piece of himself that day when he turned his back on his mother sobbing in the doorway and never looked back. 

 

Twenty years and two trips to rehab later he finds himself standing in the queue for the X Factor auditions in mid-May, not quite sure why he's there. In reality, he knows how much of a long shot it is that he will actually make a name for himself by singing, but really, he's got nothing left to lose. He hasn't got any friends left, having alienated all of them before his second stint in rehab. His last boyfriend left after he walked in on Rob in bed with not one, but two girls, and he hasn't bothered with dating since he finished rehab. He doesn't see his parents apart from Christmases and the rare occasion that they actually make the trip to London.  So, here he stands, in the unseasonably cold May weather, pulling his jacket a little tighter around himself, waiting for them to call his number.

 

Rob has always been desperate for approval, ever since he was born. He remembers being two years old, rushing straight to his father to show him a picture he had drawn. His father grunted and told him that he could do better, Robbie then proceeded to spend the whole day trying to create the perfect picture. That was one of the reasons he did those performances when he was little, he craved validation. And that was why, when he turned 14 he started performing for strangers at clubs, in the hopes that someone would discover him. Really, that's why Rob showed up at the X Factor today, to have his dream validated. Through all his years of growing up, he never lost that hunger for praise and approval, and what better place to be praised for your singing than the X Factor?

Rob glances around the room, sizing up the other contestants and trying to calm his nerves. In the old days he would have calmed his nerves with a drink, or some pills, but since that's not an option anymore he steps outside, pulls out a cigarette and lights it up. He's just taken a particularly long drag off of his cigarette when he hears his number called. He drops his cigarette to the ground and stomps it out with the toe of his shoe, before turning around and heading back inside. He combs his hand through his hair and makes his way towards the man who had called out his number, along with a few others. Rob is soon joined by four other contestants, and they are ushered into the holding room.

 

He takes a seat in the hard, plastic chair nearest to the door to wait for his turn.  His leg jiggles nervously up and down, and he tells himself he's being ridiculous. He doesn't have any reason to be nervous, everyone who has ever heard him sing has told him he has a voice. Despite telling himself this, he still felt unusually nervous and chose to focus on something else to take his mind off of it. He started thinking about football, and before he knew it they were calling his name.

 

He pushed himself up out of the chair and wiped his palms on his jeans before starting towards the door, he walks through it and looks down at the floor trying to gather his thoughts. When he looks back up Dermot has appeared in front of him, smiling and asking the inane questions he always does. _Where are you from? What brings you here today? How would this change your life_? Rob takes a minute to step into his charming persona before forcing a smile, as he's had to do so many times over the years, and answering them to the best of the ability. Before he knows it Dermot is shaking his hand and opening the door to the Audition Room for him.

 

Rob takes a deep breath and steps over the threshold into the room, smiling his cheeky smile as he rounds the corner and comes face to face with the judges. He walks over to the X and plants his feet, and suddenly he's that little boy in his living room in Stoke again, who wants nothing more than for his dream to have some meaning. He just needs someone to tell him, yes you _can_ do this, and people will love it.

 

Gary speaks first, "Hello, what's your name?" He inquires in his Cheshire accent.

 

Robbie feels something in his stomach stir as Gary speaks, but chalks it up to nerves. He clears his throat before answering, "Robbie Williams."

 

"And may I ask how old you are, Robbie?"

 

"I'm 37." Robbie replies.

 

A hint of a smile flits across Gary's face, quickly enough that Robbie thinks he may have imagined it. Gary looks up and meets Rob's eyes before asking, "So what brings you down today, Robbie?"

 

Robbie looks down at his shoes for a moment before answering.

 

"Money." He deadpans, "No, I'm joking," _Except I’m really not_ , he thinks, "I've been singing and writing songs most of my life and I feel like this is kind of my last chance to do something with that, you know?"

 

"What are you going to sing for us today?"

 

"I was going to do _Patience_ ,if that’s alright?" Robbie replied, gesturing towards Gary.

 

“Go for it.”

 

Robbie counts in his head and begins singing

_"Just have a little patience…"_

 

He makes it all the way through the song, and gives a little bow before straightening up and waiting for their reactions. All four of them stand up and clap, Gary looks in awe of him and Kelly is beaming from ear to ear. He almost sobs in relief, instead rubbing a hand up and down his face while taking a deep breath. He can't stop the grin that spreads across his face as they slowly begin to sit back down.

 

"I honestly don't know what to say, you've left me speechless. That was a brilliant audition, and you sung that song better than it’s ever been sung.” Robbie’s jaw drops and Gary gives him a gentle smile.

 

"I like you a lot," Kelly smiles, "I absolutely adore your voice, I want to hear it on a record, like, yesterday."

 

"Thank you so much.” He grins.

 

"You're awfully cheeky, but I love that about you, I think that girls are going to love you. But what matters is that was a recording vocal right there, you absolutely killed it, and I want to see more." Tulisa gushes.

 

"Thank you."

 

"Robbie, this is my eighth year doing this, and I think that was one of the best auditions I've ever witnessed. You're an absolute superstar."

 

Robbie's face starts to burn from how long he's been smiling, he can't believe it.

 

"Now we're going to vote." Gary smiles, "Kelly?"

 

"Absolutely, yes."

 

"Tulisa?"

 

"I want to see more of you it's a yes."

 

Robbie feels like his face might split in half.

 

"Louis?"

 

"Massive yes!"

 

"Robbie? You’ve got four yeses." Gary grins.

 

Robbie laughs in disbelief, "Yes!"

 

He walks up to the judges and shakes all of their hands, starting with Louis. When he reaches Gary and grasps his hand Gary pulls him in for a hug. Rob feels strangely content in Gary's embrace. He feels Gary's lips brush against his ear as Gary whispers, "That was bloody brilliant." Robbie feels a smile spread across his face as Gary releases him and pulls back.

 

"Congratulations, mate." Gary says as he walks towards the door.

 

Robbie yells a "Thanks!" over his shoulder as he pushes the door open trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

**Author's Note:**

> one more thing: if you want me to continue do you like having both POVs in the same chapter? or would you rather i make two completely different stories for them?


End file.
